You Can’t Make This Sh*t Up

So I went to the Pain Clinic in my city after seeing countless doctors regarding my severe, constant abdominal pain. The doctors still have no idea what’s going on and I am fed up. Beyond fed up. I’m fuming.

I’m not sure what it is about doctors that make them think they’re so high and mighty but this one sure was royalty. A royal ASS.

After discussing the pain, what hurts, where, what corrects it… he began the physical exam. I found it strange that he called in a female for that portion but I suppose it’s due to the flare-up of the “me too” movement.

So back to this guy… while checking the spot of my pain, he asked me if I’d ever been abused as a child. I found this question very out of the ordinary but wanting to be as truthful as possible, with the hopes of finding the cause of my pain, I was honest. That was my first mistake.

I shared with him that I was sexually abused at the age of 3. It’s not something I share with many people – there are only 5 that know this about me and that’s including my parents and brother.

It didn’t immediately hit me that this was a seemingly unrelated question but out of habit, I responded truthfully. From there on out, the doctor recommended that I see a therapist/psychologist to talk through the experience. He insinuated that it was the cause of my pain.

Wait, what?? 

You read that right. This new doctor has told me that after 24 years without any physical repercussions, the abuse was the cause of my pain.

Needless to say, I’m furious. That awful, uncompassionate (incompassionate?) SWINE.

At this point, I didn’t think the appointment could get any worse. But it did.

He went on to share with me, that doctors and surgeons are annoyed and unhappy with repeat patients. ANNOYED with us. All because the surgery they so lamely suggested with little to no scientific backing, didn’t work. Surprise, surprise. I of course responded and asked him how ANNOYING he thought it was for the patient, for me?? Living with an un-diagnosed health issue has been ruining my life.

While sharing this with me, he also had the audacity to open the door (mid-sentence, mind you) and start walking out BEFORE asking if I had any questions. Which I did.

Now normally, I’m kind of a push-over. I’m quiet in these situations and try not to overstep my bounds but this guy had it coming. I instructed (asked, because I’m polite) him to shut the door for my privacy because I had further questions. (Also mind you, I’m naked in a hospital gown). He complied and was of no further help, not that he was to begin with…

My burning searing question… HOW are doctors getting away with this behavior? WHY are you even in that field if you lack any sort of compassion for your patients? Work Visa? Is that a mean thing to say? Sure, but what he did was way worse.

This is not my first negative experience with a doctor. Nor is it my second, third, or even fourth, similar experience. I wish there was a way to find a better, more caring, network of doctors who will work WITH you to help you live your best life. Not the condescending, overly intelligent (not emotionally intelligent in any way), assholes I keep coming across.

I know I’m not alone in this. I know there are tens of thousands of people, if not more, that are going through this same exact thing. It’s unfair, but maybe together, we can share our experiences and rid the world of these shitty, terrible, awful, doctors. Please bear with me while I come up with further synonyms 😉 

My two positive takeaways from today:

  1. The nurse who checked my vitals and administered a shot of Ketorolac, was an absolute GEM. I am very thankful to have had her help me today. I’d like to suggest that doctor try being more like her. Someone who recognizes that I’m a human being. In pain. Looking for help (in all the wrong places apparently).
  2. Hospitals, in general, suck. Okay, that’s not a positive takeaway but hear me out. I’ve spent a LOT of time in one this year and I couldn’t imagine spending more time there. So I’ve made the decision to volunteer at the place I currently hate the most, to hopefully help brighten someone else’s day. Those poor children (and adults!) who spend weeks on end in a gloomy, outdated hospital room… My heart breaks for them. I want to do better and give back to those who see those drab walls and dirty curtains for days on end. In place of vital monitors, needles, and life-altering discussions – let’s have flowers and toys and read books and have normal non-medically related discussions.


Have you had a similar experience you’d like to share? I want to support you, because God knows I need a hell of a lot of that right now.

More info to come on my hell-hole of a year… Stay tuned, my friends.

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